balsamic strawberry mason jar

My friend found an excavator,
Yellow, shiny, three days later
He'd named it, loved it, made a plan,
Despite not being a wealthy man.

He checked the excavator's price,
Then frowned into a pizza slice.
He counted fingers, counted toes,
Then stared at me and struck a pose.

"People have two kidneys, right?
One for morning, one for night?"

The kidneys, hearing such disgrace,
Slowly tried to leave the place.

One packed bags. One called a cab.
Both agreed, "This bloke's gone mad."

The excavator didn't care.
It simply sat there, bright and rare.

So if you see my friend this week,
Don't let him browse Marketplace.

He's one bad spreadsheet from believing
Body parts are seasonal savings.

                                                                    -Deia and sm weirdo who chipped in this idea